Introduction
There are about 6.1 million registered users of second life that have avatars. Some of those people try to create a similar life that they live or a life that they never will live. Doing this some feel like it is important to have a religion where they can experience another aspect of life. In Second Life people go to mass in churches, act respectful and meditate to connect with their spirituality.
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where did the statistic come from? no citation...missing comma after "live" in the second sentence...missing comma after "this" in third sentence...your thesis statement does not sound like that which we discussed...your three main points...go to mass in churches, act respectful and mediate ...the last two are a bit too vague...revise the entire intro and email it to me asap...revise the thesis please too to be more specific of what you will write about...
ReplyDeletedr. c